Deepfakes: Horror

The past fortnight, I have been aware that videos of me have been uploaded onto my page.

For 2 days, I have gone back and forth on whether or not to tell you this.

There are children reading my page.

I have no choice now.

The second last video I uploaded was of me talking about how I feel about the spot on my nose, and that I’d planned to get it removed, before I changed my mind in an essay.

Then, the sunset which was to me, a harbinger of our future.

That was the last video.

Afterwards, I did not upload any further videos.

I did not upload any further videos.

I was flying blind. I had no idea what L was posting on my page. I only got to work countering his sadism through essays and fighting for America.

Two nights ago, I was watching television with my parents at night. It’s a nightly routine, where I watch a little television with them while we eat fruits, something we decided to do every night to be healthy.

My parents weren’t paying attention to the screen. They tend to be like that. They were eating, and talking about something, and only I was watching.

All of a sudden, the main character turned straight to the camera, looked into it, and promoted a product.

Those who have watched The Truman show know exactly what I’m talking about.

I knew then what L was doing.

He was creating Deepfake videos of me.

The scene I watched on television was entirely realistic. It did not look at all like it was animated or computer graphics. Yet, I knew from context that it did not make sense whatsoever, and had to be done by him. I was terrified.

He is creating Deepfake videos of me.

Horror is when you come home and find everything replaced by an exact replica of itself.

There are children reading my page, but the future holds horrors. I am so sorry that they have to learn about Deepfakes so early in their lives. The future holds potential horrors, and Big Tech already knows about this.

They know that convincing Deepfakes exist and either already use it as a weapon, or plan to use it as a weapon.

I’m sorry. Take a breath. Let me take one too. I’m close to having a panic attack.

These videos you have been watching of me, are not me. They are simulations of me.

I can already guess roughly what they are, knowing L’s psychology.

Self-promotion, narcissism, indifference to others’ feelings.

Yesterday, a little blond girl running towards a field with lilac trees. “Missing it AGAIN.” There is a girl who David Lauer loves. She’s blond and her favourite colour is lilac. Her father died and she has a hard time coping with it. I know her, we spent some time together.

Yesterday, a ginger haired woman with Sam’s pinot noirs, talking about a honeymoon. I think that Nick’s Lauren is ginger, because of the painting in his study. Their daughters are both ginger. Nick’s Lauren died of cancer.

He hurt two people I care about so much.

Yet, I could not say anything of comfort to them, because I knew that whatever I said, L could reverse through a Deepfake video, making me say something that took back what I said, or even made me sound sadistic by saying that I actually did not care.

I know all of you will feel nauseous watching my Deepfake videos.

I nearly threw up watching that television scene.

It was perfectly realistic, with her voice. Hollywood couldn’t even do that in post-production. They’d need a green screen to edit that scene in.

It’s not me.

I know all of you will feel terrified, watching me talk and speak, laugh or cry, on camera, knowing it’s not me, but a very convincing computer simulation of me.

I have to tell you the truth.

We will break too many hearts in the 150 days that remain till the kill. Total chaos.

I will not be uploading any videos. Anything you see will be a Deepfake.

I will not be tweeting. I will not be posting any videos or pictures on Instagram. I will not be writing essays. I will be completely offline.

He can copywrite in my style and make anything sound like me. Only the people closest to me will be able to tell the difference, the people who understand my values deeply.

I don’t think Nick knew about the Deepfakes. I know Don and Connie do. I know Sam and David do.

How will you know he’s dead?

How will you know when it’s really me again?

I’ll come at you with logic. 4 more months, let’s say 150 days. When Quadrant is released.

Things got really eerie.

What can we do in the meantime? I love reading Connie’s books. They are really pure, thoughtful, and gentle.

(Added: I have just realized that L has blocked them from the start. You will be able to read them soon.)

Read the news. I’ll be reading it along with you.

Spend time offline. Talk to your family. Talk to your friends. Ground yourselves.

Steel yourselves through my videos. Don’t watch them if they are too much for you. They are not me. They are a computer simulation of me.

I had to do this.

1. Chaos.
2. The false values he could forge through me are worse than the horror of knowing the videos are Deepfakes.
3. Hearts are breaking.
4. Everyone needs to be aware of Deepfakes.
5. Even Zoomers. They are subject to it on the Internet. Do you think he’ll stop at Deepfakes of only me?
6. Do you think Big Tech will not use this technology as a weapon?
7. It would not have made a difference anyway, whether or not I told you about them. In terms of what L would do, he would have made the Deepfakes creepier and creepier, revealing it himself at some point. The earlier you knew about it, the more prepared you could be, the more choice you could have to not visit my page.
8. Parents of small children, will prevent their children from visiting my page. You have to.
9. Zoomers, I don’t want you to, either. BUT, some of you will, and I want you to emotionally stay grounded, and have hope.

Yes, this is a nightmare.

And yes, this will end.

About the change in my name, I will not comment except to say that Nicholas Meyer has simply hurt me too much, and it is over. I do not enjoy many things about how he treats others. I also did not understand basic facts about his family until I checked their Facebook pages recently, and put myself wrongly into their family dynamic. I do not want to go into detail, and he will know what I speak of.

I love Nick, but he makes me feel anxious and unsafe. His feelings for Leslie are also delicate. There are so many reasons, and I have struggled so hard to hold everyone lightly and gently. In the end, I decided I had to say all of this. I do not mean any cruelty by this.

David steadies me when it comes to Quadrants. I am not in love with him.

Sam makes me feel fearless and safe and dizzy.

Back to the videos.

Your compulsion to watch them is an addiction.

Please remember that you have a choice in the matter. Make sure it isn’t self-harm to do so.

Soon, creepy Deepfake media of Sam may appear, too. As it did for Hopkins. Again, you will have that same choice.

Take care of yourselves, first and foremost.

Or fight for this war, if you are able.

You aren’t making a constructive difference to the world whenever you watch my videos. It only adds to your trauma, and collective trauma. Unless you reckon somehow that watching them will help your observations and work, then by all means, go ahead.